It may sound depressing to many, but I have always looked up to philosophical figures and how they try to make sense of the world from their lens. People might shun some of the more “radical” ideas of nihilism; and it is easy to forget what really makes stoicism, stoicism.

I have always been re-evaluating my life, and what I should really do with it. The call of the void has never been stronger. It beckons you to lay waste to it, and possibly end it all. Stripped down to the bare essence, nothing in life is compulsory except for death itself. From what I can understand, the core tenet of nihilism is to accept this. It is like a never ending, branching trolley problem, where there is always at least one branch that leads to your ultimate demise. Yet, in the face of that, what would you do?

I still have tons of material and videos on stoicism to digest and understand, but I am grateful that some of its principles I have managed to roughly instill into me. I will continue to cherish this abundance of resource, and make full use of it.

So for no particular reason I’ve even made a calendar schedule for my daily life. It feels good to dawdle and not have a plan, but ultimately I see how that has led to a lot of potential slipping away. I have not been able to find the time to be meaningful and purposeful, despite currently being unemployed. Originally I used to use this time tracking application called “Rize”. I realized just how much time I spend aimlessly surfing YouTube, gaming, etc. It can feel overwhelming especially since a lot of instructional material are on YouTube too, and you just somehow end up in a rabbit hole of just superficial perusing.

Nonetheless, I am excited for all the things to come. This is but the start of a new chapter in my life.